As Much as You Want to Celebrate Captain Kirk's Gigolo Mentality, for Your Fan Film, You CAN'T

And why is that, Spock? How is that logical? Surely one of the mainstays of Star Trek especially when concerning a fan film is the fact that you get to revel and enjoy the characterization of some of your favorites out there! Make no mistake.... Captain Kirk has always been, and always will be, quite the gigolo (after all, he's slept with many a green alien woman).

It's Now a Known Fact, Though, That According to CBS and Paramount, All Fan Film Productions of Star Trek Must Be 'Family Friendly'

That means no hijinks in the bedroom with borg women. No weird goings-on with Tribbles and some fierce foreplay with Klingons. You've got to make your Star Trek fan film completely G-rated, and if you don't believe me, here's the official statement:

"The fan production must be family friendly and suitable for public presentation. Videos must not include profanity, nudity, obscenity, pornography, depictions of drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or any harmful or illegal activity, or any material that is offensive, fraudulent, defamatory, libelous, disparaging, sexually explicit, threatening, hateful, or any other inappropriate content. The content of the fan production cannot violate any individual's right of privacy."

We can arguably say that this has to be the harshest rule so far out of all those legal guidelines.... I mean, look at some of the episodes we've seen so far, the cheesy, almost sleazy, Starfleet uniforms they once had to wear, and ship's counselor Deanna Troy had to wear. She looked like an intergalactic cheerleader, for crying out loud.

Alas, Captain Kirk Must Then Become Celibate

That is the way of the law. Pity Kirk on his 5-year mission. It's a long time to go without having all the fun he typically's used to having.

Thankfully, this animated fan film fits the bill even while having a rather attractive-looking vulcan in it: